Shootout Sickness

I missed work on Monday, a pretty rare occurrence. Was violently ill, blowing bile and all sorts of assorted stomach contents throughout the day. Too warm, too cold, sweating, trembling, not fun.

When felled by such a sickness, there’s a natural tendency to try to trace the origin of the malaise. At least from my wife’s standpoint. Was it something I ate? Was it the same thing some of the Caps had a week ago or so? When did it start? How did it start? She’s in the medical field, so this kind of info is important to her. The questions made me sicker, more tired. I didn’t care. I only knew that being vertical hurt, but you can’t hurl horizontally.

I’m back in the office today. A bit sluggish, a bit weak, and several pounds lighter, but much better than I was at this time yesterday. And now I am in a much better position to reflect on what exactly it was that led to my porcelainititis.

(Cue Ralphie Parker voice from “A Christmas Story:”) It was … shootout … poisoning.

I started feeling queasy late Sunday night. I didn’t feel right when I went to sleep, some head and body aches, and a general queasiness from the stomach region. Figured a good night’s sleep might cure whatever it was that was ailing me. The last thing I did Sunday before I went to sleep was watch the Canucks-Panthers game on Center Ice. An otherwise entertaining game soon degenerated into a shootout, at which point I would normally snap off the set, not caring which team picked up the door prize standings point. But I was in the middle of doing some work, and the remote wasn’t handy. Against my better judgment, I left the game on while the Zamboni paved the middle of the ice. Hindsight is 20/20.

Thank Jah the kids were asleep. I wouldn’t want to have had such horror inflicted upon them. If they had seen what I saw, not only would there have been a line for bowl the following day, I’m certain that social services would have paid me a visit.

I don’t want anyone else to catch what I had, so I’ll not go into great detail here. The Canucks “won” the shootout. They put the puck in the net twice. The Panthers put it in once. The good, hard-working people of Vancouver paid their hard-earned money to watch Ryan Kesler (17 goals in 153 career games, five goals in 43 games this season), Steve Montador (six goals in 180 career games, one goal in 35 games this season) and ex-Cap Josh Green (34 goals in 302 career games, one goal in 37 games this season) put the puck in the net and “decide” the game’s outcome. That’s what we’ve come to. That and WJC games being decided in the same fashion.


Live and learn. I’ll never make that mistake again.

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6 Comments on “Shootout Sickness”

  1. Jeroen Says:

    Note to self: locate and consume shootout antibiotics. Glad to hear you’re already feeling better!

    Do you think that the NHL will continue to support using the shootout to decide games? If it weren’t for the back-to-back games and/or crazy schedules (like the Caps 5 games in 7 days just now), I would love to see the games just keep going into continuous OT 😛

  2. The Freeze Says:

    I was curious, I know the caps are looking for some defensive help since they’ve got their forwards all lined up for the most part. What do you think of trying to bring Brian Rafalski to the DC blueline? his last contract was pricey but he would bring some experience and talent to a young team. He is a free agent this summer. I say Deal.

  3. dumpnchase Says:

    Jeroen: Much better now, thanks. As to your question, I sadly report that I don’t think the shootout is going anywhere. You’re right about travel/time constraints preventing continuous OT, but I’d settle for a 10-minute session. And/or a return to tie games. 😉

    Freeze: I think Rafalski is still under contract to the Devils for next season and perhaps beyond. I’d like to see a more imposing body with some puck-moving skills moved in for next season, but they don’t grow on trees and they don’t come cheap.

  4. Ken Says:

    1: Although I agree that doubling the OT to 10 mins would have been a sensible first step, most people I’ve spoken with feel that the shootout is incredibly exciting. I think that most Caps fans agreed last year when we took the first 5 (or so) shootouts we were involed in. It’s a part of the game now. There hasn’t been a tie in the NHL for almost three years. Get over it.

    2: When I click on something linked from the main page of while eating breakfast, I expect to read about hockey. The first paragraph of this post was enough to ruin my meal. I usually enjoy the depth of your analysis, but this was more disgusting than the Caps’ performance last night.

  5. KEYS Says:

    One of the worst things to watch is a fantastic game that goes into overtime and then is settled by a flick of the wrist. Why not just save everyone the emotional rollercoaster of the game and have the shootout to begin with and call it a night. Isn’t that what it turns out to be? A shootout with a pre-shootout game? Why not have the whole team shoot once just for good measure with the backup goal tender blocking the shots cold. Doesn’t that make just as much sense? Realistically noone wants to see the game end when it is a nail biter, they want to either see the home team lose because of a great play or win because of a great play. That is what the game is all about. In base ball they don’t see who can hit a homerun on one pitch for three players, that is rediculous. No, they play extra innings, no matter what the result. Hockey wouldn’t last as long as a baseball game because of the constant movement and fatigue. A mistake would be made somewhere and it would be a clean, honest win or loss. Please, lets do away with the shootout. Make it a Ten minute overtime, then a 5 minute, then a tie. That would be satisfying enough.

  6. Emilyangel Says:

    finally got some good and useful tips on this thing. good to read!

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